I've whined about sleep on here before (so much so that it has it's own label!) And it doesn't show signs of letting up any time soon. Why do my children hate sleep so much!? Ellie for instance. Last night she was getting tired, even yawning, while we were going through our (consistent and sufficient) bed time routine. That we started at 6:30PM! Do you know when she fell asleep last night? Around 9-FREAKING-30. Seriously, kid!? Adjusted without the time change that's ten thirty at night. That's just ridiculous. She just sat in there happily chatting for hours. Literally, hours. Annie had fallen asleep clear back at 7:30 or so, so it's not like she even had someone to talk to. (Annie usually falls asleep a full hour or so before Ellie though, despite Ellie's repeated attempts to draw her into fights/songs/conversations/stuffed-animal-throwing-contests/you name it. So, my two year old falls asleep at what feels like 10:30 at night, and when does she wake up? Well, if you don't count the time she woke up at 3:30AM and called for Daddy for 20 minutes, than the answer to that is 6:10AM. You gotta be kidding me!?!
And she wasn't my worst sleeper last night!
I go back and forth on how I describe Isaac's sleeping. On one hand, he's my best sleeper. (On the other, that doesn't mean that much). I LOVE his daytime sleep. After having two infants who took three 20 minute naps a day, having a baby who sleeps for 1-2 hour stretches multiple times a day is like heaven on earth. I could not say enough about how much I love his ability to sleep during the day.
Night is becoming a vastly different story. He's possibly, at this age, become even worse than his sisters. He slept for awhile. At only a few weeks old, he would go 5-6 hours at the beginning of the night (then wake up every 2 hours from then on out.) But, the last month or so it's gotten progressively worse. And for a week and a half or so he was waking up every 1-2 hours starting right at bedtime. I'd often have him waking up at 8:30, 9:30, 11:00, 12:30, 1:30, 3:00, 4:30, 6:00, and then getting up at 7:30AM. Fortunately, he wasn't staying up long. If I'd just nurse him for about 2-3 minutes, he'd fall back asleep. He's gone back to sleeping from about 7:30PM-midnight or 1:00AM without sleeping, which is good for him, but doesn't actually help me out that much, since most of that sleep is when I'm still awake. (Last night I TRIED to go to bed at 7PM, I'm not even kidding, and would've been able to too, if it hadn't been for Ellie's late night antics. As it is, I probably fell asleep about 15 minutes after she did, around 9:45PM.) Even with his increased initial sleep though, it's pretty much every one and a half to two and a half hours the rest of the night. Of course, I realize he doesn't NEED to nurse this often, but it's so much easier. Greg and I will sometimes try and delay the actual nursing. Greg will go and try to get him back to sleep, we'll try the swing, I'll hold him (facing away from Mom and the ever tempting milk) and try and get him back to sleep. This eventually works, but on average has taken us about 2 hours at each attempt. And then he wakes up an hour or two later, 'cause at that point he has gone 5-6 hours without eating and legitimately has a claim. So then I am the walking dead the next day, since I spent the middle chunk of the night wide awake with a crying baby.
I need to either fully give myself over to the feeling of, "This is just a stage of life and I'm going to be OK with it and just nurse him back to sleep when he wakes up and not stress about it." The pay off for this is significantly less stress in my life and more sleep (since I don't end up awake long.) I function remarkably well on this schedule, and only feel a bit sluggish, not drained and zombie-ish, like I do when I wake up for longer stretches during the night.
Or, I need to figure out how to get this kid to sleep. Not like 12 hour stretches or anything on the extreme end of sleeping awesomeness, just four hour stretches or so. But for me, four months is too young to cry it out. And frankly, as a graduate of about 15 other sleeping schools of thought, I'm not convinced anything else works. I'd love to be able to idealistically say I don't believe in crying it out and it's cruel and I'd never do it -- but, have you met my first two kids!? Both of them, at a much older age, were finally forced to sleep by crying it out. It was the only thing that worked, and the result was everyone in the house got more sleep. My girls functioned better, they were happier and more playful and sweet, on a full nights sleep rather than the repeatedly interrupted sleep we were all barely getting by on. As much as I need my sleep, I'm also fully aware that my children need sleep as well, and I feel like it's my job as their parent to help them get the sleep they need. (And yet, Greg won't let us drug Ellie at night. Spoil sport.) So, eventually, I feel there may be a time and a place for crying it out. I hope not, but I'm realistic about my children. I just don't think that time is four months old. But, at the same time, some of the same thinking applies -- he needs his sleep. We all do, but he's the one who's developing at a rapid rate, and sleep is as necessary for him, if not more so, than anyone else in the house. And I just don't feel like what we have going is working.
So, some nights we've tried to get him back to sleep in 'gentler' ways (the above mentioned, Daddy, swing, Mommy, attempts). And oh my goodness, do they suck! We were up from 1:30-3:30 with him last night (and then he woke up at 4:30 and I just fed him. Then he woke up all happy and chipper for the morning at 6AM. As if he's fully unaware we were all up half the night!) (Oh, and right when he fell asleep -- in my arms, but not nursing -- Ellie woke up. And shouted for Daddy for the next thirty minutes. Have I mentioned last night sucked? And it's quite possible that I cried from sheer exhaustion?) And he was TIRED. He could barely keep his eyes open, and yet he wouldn't fall asleep for TWO HOURS. Couple that with Ellie not falling asleep for THREE HOURS from the first time I saw her yawn . . . and I just can't figure out how, in children so young, tired doesn't equal sleep!? How do I get Isaac to see he doesn't need to eat every hour throughout the night (and when he does, he just spits it all up all over me and the sheets every night and half of my laundry during the day is from his frequent visits during the night!) Do I even try, and have more nights like last night in the mere hope that things will get better (I should note here: they never got much better with the girls until we went to fully crying it out. Which was at a much older age. But, they were actually not waking up this frequently either.) Aren't babies just developmentally supposed to get better about this!? My friend was over with her 3 week old yesterday and mentioned that he used to wake up every night at 2AM, and then just the last two nights he slept until 4AM. Like he suddenly realized he didn't need to wake up and eat so often. Why don't my kids learn that lesson like other kids?! It just doesn't get any better until we finally force the issue. And I don't feel ready to force it. But I don't feel ready to endure several more months of such dramatically broken sleep. I can wake up and feed the baby 2-3 times a night and be OK -- but 5 and 6 -- it just feels so infuriatingly unnecessary. The kid is HUGE. He doesn't need to eat this often. Heck, he didn't need to eat this often at a week old.
I'm not even really asking for answers here -- 'cause quite frankly, I don't really think there are any. I'm just venting and hoping that something in my ramblings will resonate and I'll get my answer as to what I should do. But don't feel like you can't offer advice -- feel free to offer advice, I don't mind advice at all. (Just don't tell me I'm doing something terribly wrong -- I wouldn't be able to take that after a night like last night, and I'd most likely end up crying. Again.)