A few months ago I became very angry with a friend. Even to the point of wondering "Is this friendship even worth it anymore?" I was quick to judge that because of past interactions, that this latest encounter had to be all drama, no substance, and I felt like I was done dealing with it.
I thankfully didn't sever all ties, (I did write a long, rambly letter I never mailed though, thank goodness), we just didn't talk for several weeks. Then we picked things up where we left off. Our first few interactions were superficial, then slowly we warmed back into our friendship. Then the bomb dropped. My friend's life was falling apart. She was hurting in ways I couldn't even comprehend, even in a worse case scenario kind of way. And I hadn't been there for her. I assumed the worst, I acted accordingly, and I let her down when she needed me most. I, at least, have the chance to be there for her now. No more presumptions. No more blame. Just being there. Like she always needed. It was a painful lesson that I hope I never need to relearn, because someone I care about could be left hurting in the wings while I'm refusing to swallow my pride.
3 comments:
I know I have experienced this with friendships throughout my life too, but don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe you needed that break so you could be 100% for them when they really, really needed you, rather than getting burned out on all the little things along the way.
You are a wonderful friend, and I never doubt that you would support a friend until the bitter end!
Love you!
So true for all of us. Thanks for sharing, Hilary!
I have had one of those no-holds-barred conversations and wondered what would happen next. We were also able to go back to normal. And I am glad.
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