My last midwife's appointment didn't go quite as expected. She measured, felt around a little, and looked a little worried. She started looking for a heartbeat, and it was taking a lot longer than normal, and she was looking more concerned. Finally, I heard that reassuring 'whoosh, whoosh, whoosh' and I smiled at her, but she wasn't smiling back. "These heart tones are high . . . " she said, "Not fast, but higher up on your body than they should be he's engaged. Has you felt any big, dramatic movements recently?" He's been active, but nothing that felt really dramatic, I thought. Then I remembered a few days ago where I'd made Greg feel my stomach for like 20 straight minutes because there was so much more movement than normal. But nothing that felt like he'd flipped. She did an internal check, I'm less dilated than I was two weeks ago, and the baby was so high she couldn't positively identify the presenting body part since he was floating up so high. This baby has been head down and further down than any of my other kids for longer than any of my other kids have been. To hear he was just suddenly up 'floating' was really odd. Especially since I'd been feeling so much new pressure and pelvic pain over the last couple days. She had the receptionist call the OBs office to get me in for an ultrasound, as soon as possible. Worst fears confirmed, and there was my little boy's butt, straight down. Frank breech. I couldn't believe it. How does this full term baby who's been head down for months, suddenly flip. And why? Why now? My due date is less than a week away, and I'm rapidly running out of time for him to flip back around. And I'm frustrated, because I feel like all my options have been stripped away. Breech births have become pretty much an automatic c-section in the obstetrics world. Despite the fact I have lightening fast births, my babies pop out in seconds with almost no effort, and that we have a family history of successful breech births (my Mom was born breech in one push), I won't even be given the chance to try in a hospital. I'll be numbed, strapped to a table, and be given a c-section. I know a c-section isn't the worst thing, by any stretch of the imagination. But all I can think of is having to stay in the hospital longer to recover, while Isaac is home even longer without me. Then getting home after 'abandoning' him for longer than I've ever left him before, and not even being able to pick up my 17 month old son. How do I explain that to him? Stairs, which are plentiful in our house, will be so much more difficult, and I will have a baby and a toddler who expect to be carried up and down them every time someone needs to eat or the door bell rings, or I need anything on another floor of my house. I know it'll all be temporary. A few hard weeks are a blink in the eye of this life, and in the long run it won't matter that the first few weeks of Owen's life were more complicated than the other kids. But man, those few weeks are scaring the crap out of me.
I feel like my whole world just got turned upside down on me, not just the baby. What could I have done differently? Is it the position I sleep in? I'm going to a chiropractor today . . . what if it doesn't work? What if it doesn't work in time? What positions do I try, of all the millions of suggestions to be found on google, which ridiculous looking positions do I actually put myself in to try and make things conducive to turning? (Um, I will not be standing on my head. I'm sure it's beneficial with gravity and all, but I told Greg I couldn't do that under normal circumstances, I most definitely can't do it at 39+ weeks pregnant.) What if he flips back around, only to turn around breech the next day? How do I fix this? How do I prevent it from happening again if I can somehow fix it? How much time do I have left? How do I know if he flipped? I couldn't tell he had the first time, how do I know if he turns head down? How do I get some sleep when this is all I can think about?
Please Baby, please turn again. Mom needs you to turn again.
4 comments:
Yikes that is scary. I am glad to hear that there is nothing wrong with the little guy. I hope that he flips soon and all will work out in the end. Either way you will be ok and you have tons of people to help you out. Good Luck cant wait to hear when he gets here..
I like you figurative and literal title for this post. You would make our English teachers proud. :-).
I am very sorry! You can do this! Whether he flips back or if you have to have a c section, you can do this.
C sections suck, but they are not the end of the world, and I found that by being active (because I had to be) the recovery was shorter than they said it would be.
I'm so sorry Hilary. It sucks when you get a curveball like this. I hope Owen cuts you a break and flips back around and either way, I will be here to help out in any way that I can.
Well I'm a little late commenting on this one. I'm so behind on my blog reading. But here's my four cents (I figure I get four cents since I've had four c-sections myself). First and foremost .. I'm sorry .. this sucks. So we deal right? Second and secondmost .. there is NOTHING you did or didn't do right or wrong. This kind of thing just happens, and usually for a reason. I couldn't agree more that it sucks to be forced into a less than desirable delivery for convenience. Because that's what it feels like, given you have a family history of copying with this naturally as well as your own natural ability to give birth SUPER fast. The good thing about Isaac being young is that 3-4 days will feel not much different to him than 1-2 days. Kids have no concept of time. It'll be a whole lot harder on you than him. Then biggest and best thing you can do to impact your recovery is get up and moving ASAP. Meaning as soon as they let you and you feel like you can DO IT. (like Jessi said). Being that I can compare not doing it versus doing it, doing it makes a HUGE difference. It will help deal with the stairs. You'll take them slower but that's it. And while they say not to lift kids and the such, I did. With both Wyland and Oliver.
With all that being said. I REALLY hope that you don't have to have one. Not because "they suck", it's not so bad. But because you don't want one. I hate to see that choice taken away for anyone. But if it comes to it and you have to have one, it won't be nearly as bad as you fear. Promise!
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