Each Pregnancy is Different

I've been really amazed at how different all four of my pregnancies have been.  With Annie's pregnancy, I thought I'd never feel the baby move.  And I was well past 20 weeks before I was feeling her consistently (despite an ultrasound that showed her doing several somersaults, and every appointment the doctor having a hard time finding the heartbeat 'cause she was so wiggly.)  I remember being a tad bit freaked out by a nearly one pound being inside me, moving nonstop, and me not being able to feel the vast majority of it.  I now think of those 'baby octopus living in a woman's stomach' urban legends in a whole new light.  With Ellie I remember being surprised to feel very subtle, but noticeable movement around 12-13 weeks.  Isaac was the same . . . I felt him first right around 12 weeks.  Once, at 15 weeks, he even bumped me so hard that Greg, who happened to have his hand on my stomach, even felt that kick!  (Although he did not feel another one 'til 25+ weeks.)  So, it's weirded me out, big time, that I don't feel this baby yet.  I think I've felt him/her once, maybe twice, but nothing I can for sure say was the baby.  And I'm past 16 weeks now.  I think normally I'd be pretty freaked out about this, but I've actually been pretty calm about it.  Mainly because I feel like puking so often.  Who knew there'd be a plus side to rampant nausea?  :-)  Hearing my daughters ask their Dad at dinner time last night, "Why did Mom just run out of here?  What's she doing in the bathroom?" while I'm heaving in the toilet, is actually fairly reassuring when my pregnancy doesn't feel exactly like I think it should.  :-)  And this one definitely hasn't felt like I thought it would, including, but not limited to, my morning sickness.  I've had nausea, even a little puking, with all my pregnancies.  But none that have made me feel quite as crappy as this one.  I spent a lot more time nauseous, and I've definitely thrown up more (but I'm really not complaining, it's been so mild compared to some of my friend's pregnancies!)  I don't know if it's just me getting older, me having been pregnant more recently (and still nursing), or if it's just this pregnancy -- but I've just felt sicker and weaker.  (Although I've had less fatigue, which is good!  Nobody around here lets me nap!)  :-)  But the nausea, like I said, has been oddly reassuring.  I remember getting out the maternity pants at like 9 weeks with my last two pregnancies -- this one, I was wearing all my same clothes, and besides looking a bit 'thicker' in the middle, I didn't really look pregnant (not even to myself) until this last week or so.  (I finally had Greg help me get the maternity clothes out of the garage last night.  Now I just need to wash them.  Again, I'm past 16 weeks.)  I'm not sure why my belly took so long to appear this time -- it was another thing that mildly freaked me out.  I'm blaming the 10-15 pounds I hadn't lost since Isaac's birth though -- I think it was acting like camouflage :-)  I have to admit though,  having my belly finally pop out a bit this last week has lessened any mild concern I had floating around the back of my head -- plus, I'm just looking forward to the day when I'm noticeably pregnant, and not just going to be leaving people thinking, "Wow, she's put on some weight," in my wake. 
I have an appointment this week with my midwife.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't getting super antsy about going in and hearing the heartbeat (this not feeling the baby thing is freaking me out -- I now remember what it was like in my first pregnancy, where you're thinking, "How do you expect me to believe there's an actual human being growing in there if I'm not feeling anything?!")  Plus, this appointment is the one where we make our appointment for the ultrasound.  We're all so excited around here to find out if this is a baby boy or girl, that I don't know how much longer we can wait :-)  The girls talk nonstop about 'Baby O', and there is much debate as to the gender.  Ellie keeps asking for a little sister -- she's never wavered from what she wants when her and I have talked about it.  Annie on the other hand likes to weigh the pros and cons; and while she initially felt this baby needed to be a boy, to even out the gender ratio in our home, she's since realized there are more boy cousins in the family than girls, and another little girl would even things out in the cousins-world of things.  Tough call.  :-)