I woke up when my cell phone started buzzing at 5:45 this morning. It was just two weeks ago today that I woke up when my Dad called to let me know my Grandma was dying. My family and I didn't make it in time to see her before she passed. This morning my Mom was on the phone, while driving to the Emergency Room, telling me that her baby brother, my Uncle Karl, had been transported by ambulance from his group home to the hospital, and they didn't think it looked good. My head was spinning. We'd always talked about how Grandma would come for her baby boy not long after she died, but I really couldn't wrap my head around the fact my Uncle could be dying. I rushed to join my Mom at the ER, and Greg joined me shortly after so he and my Dad could give Karl a blessing. My sisters, Star and Talina, and my Aunt Judy and my Aunt Teresa all got there while Karl was still in the ER. The doctor told us that it wouldn't be long -- although nobody knew if that meant an hour, a day, or a week. They got him transferred up into a large room up in the hospital, brought in lots of chairs (as well as drinks and cookies for the large gathering that was coming together), and made Karl and all of us as comfortable as possible. Soon my Uncle Kerry and Uncle Jeff, then my cousin Makayla and her baby, and my Grandma's sister, Zan and her husband Bob all arrived. My Dad had gotten Ellie to her basketball game this morning, and then brought my kids to the hospital to visit, before taking them back home. The kids seemed to feel this pending loss more profoundly after just losing Grandma, and because of the special place Karl holds in all of our hearts. Owen looked at me and said through sad eyes, "Mom, I am sad." "I know, Bug." "No, I am SAD. I like to play with Karl, to go to his house and play games and get Eskimo kisses and play outside. I am sad." Everyone was kinda reeling, since it had only been one week, to the day, since Grandma's funeral -- but we all talked about how it made sense, that Karl would be reunited with his parents now.
When I was young I would have nightmares about Karl dying. I've always been really close to my Uncle, and I was terrified of losing him in my life -- of having a life without his sweet, special spirit in it. As I've grown, and as he's lost his parents, I wasn't as afraid for him to die, but when faced with the pending reality of it, I was heartbroken. He has always been so special to me, and the relationships my children have built with him have changed us all for the better. But also, I think of him, unhindered by a broken body, running into the waiting arms of his most loving, incredible parents -- where he can tell them he loves them and thank them for all they've done for him in as many words as he wants to use -- I just start crying at the thought of it all. The reunion taking place in the life after this is as wonderful and beautiful as anything I could imagine.
Karl had spent several hours slowly declining, as his oxygen would drop little by little into the early afternoon. Several of the people there decided to run and grab some food, since many of us had been at the hospital for going on 6 hours. In the quiet, with just the three youngest children in my Mom's family, and Greg and I, in the room, Karl's vitals started to quickly drop. We called and texted everyone to come back, but within just a couple minutes, he had taken his last breath, and was gone. I will never forget the sacred opportunity I had to be with him when he passed, sitting next to him on his bed, with his brother and sister each holding a hand, as he took those last few breaths and then settled into stillness and peace.
I can't quite imagine life with Karl yet. It still doesn't feel real, and hasn't sunk in. I will mourn the loss for quite some time, especially for my children who have been learning so much from him. He was always one of the greatest influences in my life, and he has been a main force in developing of the best parts of me.
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