Sleep, sleep, sleep

I never worried too much about sleep before I had kids. When I saw still single, my roommates and I would have friends over four or five nights a week 'til two or three in the morning, leaving me only a handful of hours of sleep before going into work . . . until one of my coworkers told me one morning I looked like a haggard drunk. Then I started kicking people out earlier and getting at least six hours of beauty sleep. But, all in all, I just didn't think too much about sleep.

Then I had kids.

It's funny how quickly my entire life suddenly revolved around sleep. My sleep, my kids' sleep, was my husband getting enough sleep? How does our schedule for the day match up with nap times? Bed time? Teaching your kids to fall asleep on their own. Sleep, sleep, sleep. There's times when nothing feels more important than the sleep issue. With Annie I literally became a barely functioning human being due to extreme exhaustion during that first little while. I used to sing the "ABCs" to Annie when she was a baby, because after the first week of never getting more than an hour of sleep at any one time, I could not remember the words to another song. Not a single nursery rhyme, lullaby, primary hymn or childhood ditty. I remember the complete horror I felt when I was singing to Annie one day, "A B C D E F G . . ." and I could not remember what came next. I started to cry. Of course, I pretty quickly was able to come up with the letter 'H', but for that briefest of time I couldn't get more than 7 letters into the alphabet due to my sleep deprivation. People would tell me, "You just need to sleep when she sleeps." This sounds like it would work . . . but if your colicky baby takes 20 minute naps on average, this usually left me falling asleep minutes, sometimes mere moments, before my baby woke with a screech that caused me to shoot up in bed like someone had used a bullhorn inches from my head. Babies, apparently Bush-leaning in their politics, have no qualms with using such sleep deprivation torture techniques.

With Ellie I was determined to do whatever it took to get the sleep I needed . . . I was prepared to co-sleep, nurse around the clock, learn to sleep in a rocking chair, earplugs, whatever it took to never feel that tired again. Fortunately, Ellie has always been a better sleeper than Annie, and although we do sleep her fully swaddled in a swing on its highest setting with a white noise machine going, she sleeps. And, I feel really pretty rested. It's been a huge relief.

Then she got sick this week. With her stuffy little nose we have to fight her to get her down for a nap, then she only sleeps 20 minutes tops. Last night it took us hours to get her down for bed, much later than normal, than after her initial stretch of sleep she was up every hour. I woke up four times last night with her. I forgot just how incredibly taxing that is . . . and when I was doing that with Annie I didn't have a two year old waking up and wanting breakfast at seven in the morning.

I feel guilty asking for Greg's help during the night, since he has to wake up at 6AM to go to work . . . but once I change a diaper she needs to be re-swaddled, and my swaddling is weak and ineffective, where as Greg's swaddling technique could restrain large, angry prisoners, and usually three month olds. Greg assures me it's not a problem, since he only half remembers waking up anyway, and unlike most Moms I talk to, he seems to be able to fall right back asleep after dealing with a squealing infant, whereas I take much, much longer to lull myself back to sleep. It all adds up for a night that seems like I spent more of it awake than asleep, which equals a day when I have absolutely no desire to play with play doh, run in sprinklers, or make cookies . . . but it's not Annie's fault I'm this tired, so it doesn't seem fair to deny her the simple pleasures of her life just 'cause I'm too tired.

Then I go and waste the twenty minutes when both kids are sleeping simultaneously and write a blog entry.

Stupid sleep.

Here's how we do get our baby to sleep. It doesn't last long though.

Only Benadryl would keep her that way, and drugging kids for sleep is frowned upon.