Postpartum Blahs

There's this myth that women are supposed to get this beautiful, long, flowing, healthy, vibrant hair during pregnancy (well, it's always been a myth in my case at least.) The downside is once you have the baby and your hormones go a different kind of crazy, all this extra hair starts to fall out. In clumps. In my case, I end up with actual bald spots hidden only by the fact I have pretty thick hair to start with, and strategically placed comb-overs. After Annie was born I lost so much hair that when it started coming back in I had a full mane of 1/2 inch hairs sticking straight up all around my face. I had a hair stylist comment that she'd never seen so much new growth on someone who hadn't had chemo. I don't know how I somehow managed to delude myself into thinking that it wouldn't happen again this time, but now there's no denying it. I'm very quickly going bald. I lose handfuls of hair every time I wash it. Like drain-stopping amounts of hair. My vacuum is picking up more hair than dirt, and even when I sweep the kitchen floor I end up with enough hair to make a wig for a small bald doll or something. And I hate hair on things. It grosses me out each time I notice one of my hairs stuck to Ellie's blanket, or on Annie's shirt, or all over my pillow. I can't possibly vacuum enough, because it just keeps falling out. I'm starting to think the only solution is shaving my head bald and starting from scratch.

On the flip side of thinking I wouldn't lose all my hair after this pregnancy like I did the last, I'd somehow convinced myself that weight loss after pregnancy would be just as easy this time around as it was after Annie was born. I don't know exactly why the weight just melted off after Annie was born (bringing me down to even 10 lbs. lighter than when I was married,) but it probably had something to do with the fact I had gallbladder problems throughout the last several months of pregnancy and wasn't allowed to eat more than 4 grams of fat at any one meal for fear my gallbladder would freak out and I'd need it and the baby taken out in emergency surgery. Most motivated I'd ever been to stay on a diet. So, with eating almost no fat my entire third trimester, I only gained 15 lbs. during my whole pregnancy. And I'd lost 25 by my 6 week check up. I was sure I'd stumbled on a great weight loss secret, and somewhere in the back of my head started formulating a plan to get pregnant in rapid succession, and right around the time I had enough kids to fill a mini-van I'd be a lean 135 lbs. Turns out though, pregnancy and child bearing are not the best ways to lose weight. Who knew? If you gain more like 40 lbs. during pregnancy, your body is much less forgiving, and I think as a form of punishment, tries its hardest to hold onto every single last pound possible. At this rate, if I stick with my 'not getting pregnant until I'm back to my pre-partum weight' goal, we may not have a third child until well into our thirties.